Many of my clients in need of relationship advice and guidance have been cheated on, whether by a former spouse or an ex-boyfriend. A partner’s infidelity is a terrible thing to experience. It can be very difficult to bounce back after someone you trusted and loved betrayed you.
When I work with women who have experienced infidelity, part of what needs to happen, especially with women who really want to move forward in their dating lives, is learning how to let go of the anger they’ve been clinging to for so long. Otherwise, that emotion will be projected onto future men they date, and these men will, no doubt, be blindsided by this woman’s misplaced rage. A man will wonder: What did I do to deserve this woman’s ire?
Assuming Man B is already guilty because of what Man A did is unfair.
How would you like it if a man you met assumed you were a gold digger because of his ex’s behavior?
Below is an infographic on cheating sent to me by the folks over at Can’t We Just Get Along Counseling. Some of the stats are eye-opening and a bit shocking. For instance, I was surprised by the stat that 30-60% of all married individuals will engage in infidelity at some point.
For the purposes here, let’s take the midpoint of that stat: 45%. Now, a woman might look at that number and become jaded about relationships and marriage, exclaiming, “All men will cheat eventually, so what’s the point of even being in a relationship?!” But that’s exactly the mindset I try to combat in my work with women, in several ways:
- Instead of looking at that figure in terms of the percentage of men who will cheat, why not look at it in terms of the 55% who won’t.
- How can you date and go about the process of choosing a partner in a healthier, more conscious way, a partner who shares similar values, so that you are less likely to become a part of that statistic?
- How can you go about making communication and emotional safety and stability a priority in any relationship you do decide to pursue so that cheating is never a consideration for either person?
- How can you push back on your all-or-nothing thinking when it comes to dating, sex, intimacy, men, relationships, and the like?
What do you think about the statistics and comments in this infographic? Have you ever been cheated on? How did you manage the situation? Have you ever been the person who has cheated? What led you to cheat? Leave your comments below!