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Dear Neely, Hope you are doing well. Hope your little one is doing well too! I wanted to write to you to state that I am now very happily married for a month now to a wonderful man. I am so happy. I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your help through the process as I think you played a significant role in this process. I was looking over the work we did, the vision poster, the goals of getting married within 1-2 years ( oh my gosh, it happened!). I could not have done it without you and wanted to make sure I gave you most deserved credit for this. You really helped me to reconceptualize dating in a way that served me most well, the change in profile was life changing for my dating success and tackling some mental roadblocks head on! Thank you again so very very much!!
Diana, 39
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“I learned from the video series to just have fun with dating. I think that’s a reminder we all can use. Sometimes it feels as if dating is like a course and the end result being that we get that guy and have somehow advanced to another level. That mindset makes dating stressful and who needs more stress, right?
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“As a dating coach, Neely Steinberg is truly gifted. She brings skilled training from multiple dimensions, good old fashioned common sense, humor, and wisdom to the table. She has a unique ability to bring together energy, writing talent, psychological training, tenacity, knowledge, savvy, and entrepreneurial skills. It was motivating to think entrepreneurially and creatively about my love life and Neely showed me how. She also created an amazing online profile for me (helpful when you are a busy professional) and led me to a photographer. She was attentive to every last detail including my hair, makeup, and wardrobe for my photo shoot. After my profile went live, we met every two weeks about my dating experiences and to work through a lot of my toxic patterns and beliefs. She is hardworking and organized, clever and witty. She is also a sleuth on the dating front, quick to spot potential red flags and highlighting signs of good potential. She challenges you, calls you out on toxic repetitive patterns vis-a-vis strengthening, applauding and empowering you. The combination of all of these attributes provides a very strong dating coach to any professional woman who perhaps does not have the time or savvy or simply does not know how to apply one’s strengths to tackle the seemingly simple but often complicated process of dating. It was a pleasure and privilege to work with Neely. Through the process, I found a wonderful man online who I am currently in a relationship with. This was after a many year period of drought and some level of hopelessness kicking in. I was very, very grateful for her services and I’m sure you will be, too.
Tina, 37
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“Thank you so much for an incredible shopping trip. I had so much fun at the event last night. I felt more confident with my new clothes and got some compliments on them as well! Its nice to be able to not be worrying about what you’re wearing. I found I could focus more on talking to people!
Sadie, 28, Cambridge
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“Once I decided I was going to start dating again, I knew my wardrobe needed a little update. Being a busy professional I just didn’t have time to keep up with styles and I tend to buy the same things over and over. So, I decided I would give Neely’s Ultimate Makeover service a try. First she came by to help me sift through my current wardrobe. She helped me understand what my body shape is and we talked about my style needs and desires. She gave me good ideas as to what was and wasn’t working and helped me purge items that probably would have just sat in my closet forever — items that didn’t excite me and items that unnecessarily camouflaged my figure. The next day, we went on the shopping trip. We met at a convenient location with my ideal style and budget in mind. I tried on clothes I would have never tried on and received feedback on what was flattering. I still love the clothes I got when I was shopping with Neely. I can wear them with confidence, knowing I look fabulous.
Karen, 35
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“Neely improved the daunting task of looking into my closet each day. When I get dressed now, it’s a much more positive experience, and I have more outfits that I feel comfortable and stylish in. I also feel that I know what to look for when trying on new (or old) clothes to make sure they are going to complement my shape. It was enlightening!
Laurie, 36
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“For years my romantic life has been in a complete standstill. Friends and family have given me lots of advice and opinions on my single status, and I had read several books and articles on the art of dating and “snatching a guy,” but I did not find any of these things to be helpful, or motivating. I came across Neely’s video advice column and found her so relatable and her advice so empowering that I immediately emailed her when I found out that she is Boston-based, and was available as a dating coach. Neely got back to me right away with a very thoughtful email, and so began our coaching relationship. Through this process Neely has been so thorough and has really taken the time to help me create an action plan that is tailored to me (no cookie-cutter, 1 size fits all dating advice here!). With Neely I not only was given how-to’s on dating and relationships (which was also very helpful), but we also really examined my underlying thoughts that have been driving my behavior and keeping me in dating no-man’s land. Neely encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone, but was never harsh, or judgmental, so I always felt comfortable to be completely honest with her. With Neely’s enthusiasm, in-depth knowledge, and dedication I have gained the insight to know myself, what I need from a partner to be happy (vs. want), and how I will get there.
Sarah, 37
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“I started online dating after a long-term relationship fell apart. It’s my first time dating in this culture. I had no clue how to do it and my dating life didn’t seem like it was going anywhere. That’s why I considered going to a dating coach and expert. I got Neely’s name out of a google search. I started following her blog posts and liked her learn-by-dating approach. Later, I purchased the Dating Detox package from her. She helped me to work on my limiting beliefs regarding myself, dating and men. The sessions are very empowering. Neely helped me to focus on building up my core values and cleared up many misconceptions and toxic thoughts I have about dating. I immediately felt a lot more confident socializing and going out on dates.
Shelly, 33
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“Neely is not only a great dating coach, but a great life coach, too. She forced me to look at the root of my problems with dating in order to fix them and move forward to achieve my goals. She first empowered me to truly believe that I can and will find someone and then worked with me to figure out how I would do it. She reminded me that even though I think I’m bad at dating, I’m actually an awesome person who would be considered a catch to any single guy. It’s not an overnight process as she says, but I don’t think I would have come nearly as far without her sage advice and insight. I learned many things from Neely, including my personal fears about dating and how I feel about myself when dating. I realized that I needed to stop caring so much what others thought and be true to myself and that life is simply too short to worry so much. Anyone who has hesitation about dating or doesn’t think they are cut out for it should talk to Neely.
Amy, 33
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“I would like to thank Neely for jump-starting my dating life. I had been on Match for a couple of years. My profile was uninspired, and I had less than energetic photos. She set me up with a photographer who was a gem and rewrote my profile using the the guts of her thoughtful and detailed survey. With her guidance, I took responsibility and felt supported throughout the process of having my profile made over and navigating the site once I was up again on Match. My confidence and self-esteem skyrocketed with Neely’s caring yet direct help. I feel energized and comfortable in my own skin — and I’ve met someone wonderful.
Kathryn, 47
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“Neely penned a thoughtful, energetic and fun profile that allowed me to get the attention I needed on Match! She is just what I was searching for on my dating expedition to give me the confidence and right amount of push to take control. I’ve gone on wonderful dates thus far and am having a great time! I can’t believe I actually look forward to this whole online dating thing now! She has really opened my eyes and given me a fresh new perspective on dating. Thank you, Neely!
Sania, 33
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“I am really happy with my profile rewrite. Neely did a great job focusing on what’s important and writing a zipppy and alluring profile that you can be proud of. She is able to take a lot of information and condense it into an upbeat, positive profile which really shows who you are and what you’re looking for. She is responsive and gives great advice. I definitely recommend her.
Caroline, 43
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“While working with Neely I had my first kiss, had several marathon-dating weekends and ultimately found my first boyfriend. It was really helpful having her by my side to listen, advise and mostly help me be ok with the fact that I had not had any romantic relationships so that I could move forward and change that! The biggest thing that Neely helped me to do was feel like I was taking control of my dating life. Rather than being reactive, I felt like I was being proactive and taking steps to change my situation. Once there were clear goals and action steps, it no longer felt so daunting to be looking for a partner.
Tabitha, 30
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“I’m really enjoying your book! It’s great because so much of it is reinforcing what I already believe and adding to it. It’s definitely given me a framework that I can use.
Jenifer, 45
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“In my years of writing stories about dating, Neely has absolutely become my go-to expert for relationship insights. She’s this amazing hybrid of straight-shooter and cheerleader, and her advice is always spot-on. (It’s uncanny how often she’s right.) On a professional level, I know I can turn to her to give readers the relationship roadmap they need on just about any topic. On a personal level, she’s been an awesome person to work with – and if ever faced with a love-related roadblock, she’s one of the few dating coaches I’d trust.
Jenna Birch, work seen in Yahoo!, SELF, and Shape
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“Neely is one of my very favorite writers and Boston’s top dating coach. She has completely changed how I approach my love life. She teaches women to become the CEO, founder and enTREPreneur of their dating and love lives. You will love following her dating advice blog because it contains helpful and sound dating advice. Whenever I have a question, Neely has personally given me fantastic advice on how to deal with certain dating situations. She has an amazing heart and wants you to find the love you deserve. I love that she shows women how to take control of their lives and not wait passively for Prince Charming.
As seen on SweetCicily.com, “3 Blogs That Will Change Your Life”
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“The idea that smart, career-minded women should devote themselves to a series of rules that manipulate (clearly insecure) potential mates into maintaining interest makes me sad, and honestly, has turned me off the whole genre. But Neely Steinberg’s Skin in the Game: Unleashing Your Inner Entrepreneur to Find Love is one of the few women-oriented books covering dating and relationships that doesn’t offend me. Steinberg’s premise is essentially this: Treat your love life as you would a start-up. You, as an entrepreneur, are responsible for investing in your dream love life. You imagine it. You create it. You own it. Steinberg doesn’t offer rules, or do’s and don’ts — rather, she provides strategies for being more mindful of who you are and want you want, as well as lots of emphasis on self-love, a concept typically absent from the genre. What’s helpful about this book is that it routinely encourages self-reflection. This is huge. Steinberg demands you to sit with your thoughts, no matter how uncomfortable, and reflect on your unhealthy (and healthy) patterns and habits. So whatever your ultimate love agenda may be, even if you don’t have one, the book’s exercises are highly valuable.” Read the full review
Bustle.com
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“Hey, Neely, Just a note to tell you that I read your book again (for a second time!) and wanted to say how much I love it. I started to date again and met someone on Match. We’vebeen on 5 dates and fingers crossed there will be more! Love, the girl who USED to only go on first dates
Cecilia, 39
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“This book has been a complete game changer for me. As a divorced woman who is back in the dating scene, I needed a book that would help me navigate through the new world of dating in my 30’s. So much has changed and this book allowed me to explore different ways to approach dating and being single again. Steinberg helps explain how to model your dating life into a business, a proactive approach that will produce results. I have gone out on about 10 dates since I read this and continue to make amazing connections. Finding love is definitely worth the work. I have purchased this book for all of my single friends and we talk about it all the time. We call it our dating bible! I am not usually one to pick up a “self help” book but I highly recommend this one to all the single people out there!
Alissa, 37
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“I think your work is amazing and changes women’s lives. I love your book and your personality as a whole. You are VERY smart woman and I love how you show women to take control of their lives and not wait passively for Prince Charming.
Caroline, 40
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“Aloha Neely! I just wanted to share that I am loving your book. You are so relatable and your perspective is smart. I can’t put the book down. It reached me at a point where I wanted to just give up. Like you I wondered where are the good guys. I too believe in visualization, but never applied it to my love life. I am excited to know that a healthy and happy relationship is out there.
Cicily
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“Love your book. I’ve never seen this approach and it makes so much sense. You write so clearly it seems like anyone can do it — empowering and inspiring! I’m even back online, experimenting with a better attitude. Thank you!
Sarah, 39
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“I have totally STUDIED your book! I have a few dates lined up next week; it’s amazing when you start making a strategy, as you say, who and what can appear in your life. I have told all my single girls about your book…it’s such a unique approach that a lot of professional women can relate to!
Alyssa, 36
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“Before I started working with Neely, it seemed like my basic everyday outfit consisted of black pants, a basic shell that had some color, and a button up sweater over top. My shoe choices were minimal due to my wide feet and my lack of enthusiasm for finding something that would fit and look great. I had dresses and other tops in my closet that I never wore and honestly didn’t feel like wearing. I was in a rut…with my fashion choices and self-esteem. I worked with Neely virtually…she in Boston, me in DC, and it was life changing! I went from wearing my uninspiring clothes, to putting together outfits that helped me show the world the fun, happy, sexy, smart, confident, approachable person I was already! Neely helped me review my style preferences, my body shape, and my personal challenges to putting outfits together. She then showed me what choices would work best. Then, utilizing Pinterest as a design tool… I had ‘homework’ to buy new items and find items in my closet to create outfits that were polished, feminine, fun and sophisticated. Neely guided me the whole way, calming me when I was overwhelmed, and cheering me on with my successes. She helped me find my self-confidence again and be proactive with choosing outfits for work/play that I feel great in. Neely was truly a joy to work with and I took forward to sending her style questions in the future.
Jenn, 43
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“Neely improved the daunting task of looking into my closet each day.  When I get dressed now, it’s a much more positive experience, and I have more outfits that I feel comfortable and stylish in.  I also feel that I know what to look for when trying on new (or old) clothes to make sure they are going to complement my shape.  It was enlightening!
Laurie, 36
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“Once I decided I was going to start dating again, I knew my wardrobe needed a little update. Neely helped me understand what my body shape is, and we talked about my style needs and desires. She gave me good ideas as to what was and wasn’t working and helped me purge items in my closet. We also went on a shopping trip. I still love the clothes I got when I was shopping with Neely. I can wear them with confidence, knowing I look fabulous.
Karen, 35
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“Neely helped me see things from a different perspective, reshape my approaches to dating and helped set expectations that I should aim for in a successful relationship. I really appreciated all the time that she took going over my writing assignments. It was clear that she was considering me as an individual. It was eye-opening. Neely made me see things in a different way than I had for a while.
Anne, 34
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“I had such a great experience with you and want to share it with the world. You have no idea how much you have helped me, my dating life, and just my overall outlook. My attitude towards dating has changed drastically. Again, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. I miss our time together!
Megan, 30
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“You have had a lot to do with my reflecting more deeply and seeing myself in a different light. For example, I actually heard myself telling someone about my situation with the guy I’ve been seeing on and off. Although I was talking with confidence and authority I realized just how ridiculous I sounded and demeaning that relationship is. Something I could not have down without your help. I felt shame after talking about him. Nothing that made me feel too bad about myself but certainly enough to make me sure that I deserve better and it was time to leave that alone… for good. I have you to thank for that.
Ali, 50
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“I met Charlie on Match, and I have no doubt that my sessions with you helped a lot! After a few months of dating we fell in love and are crazy about each other and became exclusive. He has all the qualities I am looking for. He is committed and devoted, caring and loving and expressive of his feelings. I’m a different woman from before. I learned so much from our sessions about myself through the inner work I did, and today I know my own worth and Charlie came at the right time! It’s been 6 months since we met, I’ve met his family and friends and he’s met my friends, etc., and I couldn’t be happier!
Amanda, 37
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“Love, love, love my new profile — you’re the best! After reading what you wrote, my old profile pales in comparison. Based on your insight, you transformed my ordinary, cookie cutter profile, which read like a ‘laundry list’ into a very appealing, intriguing yet accurate portrayal. The online Dating eTrepover Questionnaire was thoughtful, introspective and worth the investment of time and energy in achieving the ultimate outcome. You have been great to work with, and I would highly recommend you and your book (a must read) to others — priceless! A very happy and thankful client!
Rebecca, 54
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“I would like to thank Neely for jump-starting my dating life. I had been on Match for a couple of years. My profile was uninspired, and I had less than energetic photos. She set me up with a photographer who was a gem and rewrote my profile using the the guts of her thoughtful and detailed survey. With her guidance, I took responsibility and felt supported throughout the process of having my profile made over and navigating the site once I was up again on Match. My confidence and self-esteem skyrocketed with Neely’s caring yet direct help. I feel energized and comfortable in my own skin — and I’ve met someone wonderful.
Kathryn, 47

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Trust That Your Life Is Not Meant to Be a Different Version

What happens when you lose appreciation for where you have been and where you are today? You begin to live in a world of victimhood, pity parties, inaction, and apathy. One of the most profound statements I’ve heard recently was in a mindfulness class I’m taking. Our teacher said: “Trust your life is not meant to be a different version.”

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